Cheater

I am a cheater. There I said it. Not like it’s hard to say. I’ve said it many times before. I have cheated on every single boyfriend I have ever had. And you know I don’t regret it at all. Sure I don’t want to hurt people or humiliate them, but honestly I only have one life and I’m going to enjoy it and do what I want when I want to do it.

Now, my first boyfriend was a lovely little boy named, well I’m not going to put his real name so let’s called him Mickey Mouse, Mousy for short. Mousy was in love with me, so he said. He begged me to go out with him. I said no, no, and no again. Finally I give in and what happens? Boom, he breaks my adolescent, prepubescent heart. Now you’re probably thinking, now she just hates men because of this one incident. Wrong, my little flowers. I don’t blame him at all. We were in high school. We were kids. We wanted fun, excitement, newness. He got me and moved on. Good for him. He never knew that while we were “dating” I was also “dating” 2 to 3 other guys, or at least was kissing them. oh high school.

Let’s move on to college because that’s when the real relationships begin. When I began my freshman year I was dating a guy I had met back in high school. Let’s call him Hunter. Hunter and I went to schools one hour away from each other. It was LONG DISTANCE. Red flag people. Red Flag. We dated for a total of 9 months. In month 2 of 9 I met Warren. Warren was easy going, cute. More importantly, Warren was there. I started seeing Warren every weekend, every other day, a little too much I suppose. But what’s a girl to do? So then I find out my innocent little Hunter was doing the same thing as me, however he got caught. I broke it off, his fault. Over and done with, and I’m the good guy. It worked out well.

I continued on with Warren until summer session when he went back home and I stayed to take a summer course. Who should I meet? No other, than the mysterious Sunny. I really wanted him. I really had to have him. So I did. Then after I had him I broke up with Warren.

Then it got really messy. I went abroad to Italy to study. X-boy Warren did as well. Dating Sunny from afar and seeing Warren everyday up close?? He was the only person I really knew there. Pretty much my only option. I had to have him. So I did.

I broke it off with Sunny by phone. Hey, sorry. long distance.

Back to America; now who do I want? I want Warren. No, I want Sunny. No. I want someone else.

Now, let me add in here that during my 4 years of high school and 4 years of college I would frequent my cousin’s house in Orlando each summer. Orlando is the home of many summer loves. One in particular; who I have now managed to hook up with at least thrice during every single one of my serious relationships.

I don’t have any regrets. I never felt really bad about this. I still don’t. I mean maybe for a hot second I felt a twinge of ouch, I really hurt him.. But you get over it. And keep living. Maybe this is because I never truly cared for them, which is possible. But I did care for them. I deeply cared. I just cared more about myself. You probably think this is selfish and immature behavior. You’re right, I’m selfish. But think about it. The human being is an animal. We are attracted to other human beings. Human nature does not have a manual which reads “pick soul mate, buy ring, share bed, reproduce, have family dinner.” No. We are made to procreate, but not with just one other human. We are not made to wear a band of metal to bind us forever to this other body.

In order to live your life there has to be some degree of selfishness in you. You come first in your life. I believe in enjoying the lives we are given and taking full advantage of time everyday. Be that with one significant other or with many.

Notes for your endeavors (you bad bad girls you):

1. If you are going to lie, at least believe it yourself.

2. Long distance doesn’t work, but it’s cute to try

3. If you get caught in the act, jigs up

4. Leave with all your clothes

5. And remember, he’s probably doing it too, or at least thinks about it.